Oops i sneezed again..

Yes that's right I've caught a germ. Well it shouldn't surprise me i haven't been ill since April so i was due for this, and at least this time it's not at Christmas, but it's made me behind on my college work and stops me going out in public. I first realised i was ill yesterday when my throat was on fire, so i got suspicious then half way through the day i was sniffing. Yep a bit o both. But today it's a flood of the sniffles, making me sofa bound, and not capable of doing my work as my brain is clogged up with snot. I'm supposed to be seeing my best friend tomorrow. Without making her ill and without looking like i'm about to die. Sunday i'm supposed to be seeing my boyfriend for our anniversary, it's not going to look pretty if i have a red nose like Rudolf and tissues stuffed up my sleeves like a magician. I've taken a picture of my survival kit to show you what i'm fighting this with; Left to right-Phone, drugs, cup of water, box of tissues, tv remote, cup of soup-golden vegetable, airwaves, custard/rice pots, white magnum style ice cream and my favourite teddy.

Oh dear not again....

My grandma had a fall in her care home, and has been taken to a local hospital (St. Mary's) as they think she has broken her wrist! So my mother is going down there to see how she is, so our quiet morning has turned around! So let's hope she is ok and doesn't have any bad bruises or black eyes like one christmas several years ago.

My idea of a good night out..

Is in fact a good night IN yes ladies and gents IN INSIDE, in some comfy clothes that cover everything up and are uber snuggie, watching some form of comedy or romance film (yes the 'chick flick' i enjoy them!!) or a romantic comedy as i love to laugh and smile. I don't know why people want to get 'wasted' and reveal themselves to strangers and most of the time not remember their night as they have increased their chance of brain damage?! It doesn't make sense to me, as alcohol doesn't appeal to me. I was chatting to my wolf pack in Psychology and they were chatting about random things, and parties and drinking games came up, and they suggested that we do something similar together and i explained 'i don't drink' and one wolf cried 'I'LL MAKE YOU DRINK! I'LL FIND SOME WAY TO FORCE YOU!!' and i thought that that was ridiculous, as that would be against my will.

I love to be in control of my thoughts and feelings and not burst them out at people who i don't want to know my secrets/inner thoughts, oh and have my vision, as i recently experienced in my DOCTORS it's not fun nearly fainting/being unconscious really it's not attractive (my dad said so) I've witnessed friends puking and upchucking it's just a mess for someone sober like me to clear up and help them.

This is my friend i found in my garden...

i was just roaming my garden photographing the autumn leaves that had fallen from my tree, when i saw this strange looking slug! I decided to photograph him/her as i had never seen a spotty and stripey slug in my life. (elephant caterpillars yes but never this)

Why, when your around it's heaven...

Another day with the other half, another day trying not to miss him! No matter how much or how little time i get with him i still miss him loads, so how do you work that out? I get so attuned to his company that when he goes i just feel lonesome, even if i have other company.

It's weird.

what i get up to in Photography...

We had the topic of photobooth and created our own pictures for Self Portraiture and here's me.

My morning at the Doctors...

      Today i had to endure a blood test. Considering that i have 'problems' with anything to do with needles me and needles just don't go down well...so my heart was pumping double time when i was waiting for the guy having his done and everyone who came out seemed fine so i was a little calmer, but tell that to my nerves! I got in the chair and my dad mentioned about my previous experiences and i explained about my needle thing, but i got in the weird chair and gave her my arm, but turned away so i couldn't see the weapon of pain, she strapped my arm down to make my vain pop out (i already have vainy arms and there's no problem with that) and i felt the tinge of the needle in my skin for about five seconds then it was over, and i was passed the cotton bud to prevent blood being spilt.
       Then it occurred. I felt a little faint and woozy, my vision became dotted by light and i felt flushed and struggling to breathe, my father said i felt freezing but i was on fire, i couldn't speak properly whilst this change was happening, it's frightening to have your sight, your hearing affected by something which wasn't that bad. By this point my throat felt closed up, and something felt like it had to come up my neck, this happened to be my breakfast, and the two red skittles i popped in my mouth after to gain some sugar. Seeing as i couldn't see efficiently i couldn't tell where the sick bowl was when the nurse passed it to me it went over the edges, when this happened i'm not even aware of what i'm doing it's just happening, and my body is trying to fix itself. After i had emptied my stomach i retrieved my sight back after my crazy few minutes, i was recovered and got home and had some strawberry jam on toast (strawberry is the best, no other flavour can supplement that not raspberry or anything else!!) and that went down a treat so i'm back on top!

I wish people wouldn't do that...

I wish people would get their noses out of other people's business. It was all going good before you came along  and dug your claws into us, just because you're so 'perfect' you think you can be den mother and even ruin my happiness, or at least my recovery from a bad mood but no you've brought it back, so thank you for that i'm going to be in a bad mood for the rest of the day and now I've gone back a phase. I want you to leave please, you have to otherwise i will go a little crazy more often, just go. I don't care if you're 'friends' i'm not going to like you, as you get to see him everyday, you get to see if he has a hair cut first or new clothes and it should be me, i don't know whether it's the distance that makes me like this or it's just you, but i really really don't like you.

This is all i want to do..

....all i want to do is scream and shout and let everything out, but i can't because i'm trapped with my thoughts constantly  when i'm awake, when i daydream, when i'm in lessons i am reminded, and even when i sleep, this should be a positive thing. However right now i'm really not in the mood. I'm like this because i have these phases, or stages if you will of my mood habits, especially for certain circumstances; stress, sorrow, and perhaps even happiness. I really take a disliking to certain things, i become very VERY picky about what i like to see and do (by the by i have little OCD habits so when in these rages of perfectionist fits i like things to be a certain way otherwise it'll bug me forever.)
       So in my miserable moods it can go something like this; i wake up in a daze, my feet shuffle against the cream carpets as i journey to the bathroom to find that when i look into my reflection that i look as bad as i feel. Purple lids, red wrought eyes and a face like a zombie. I weep inside as i feel my heart and lungs shrinking with each short exasperated breath i take. When two things go wrong at once i feel the world collapse on me and i silently cry out for help to save me from my troubles. And i feel like the worst person in the world.
A bundle of laughs i'm sure, but from my point of view it's far from positive in these times, but don't worry it's not always like this, when i'm with other company i wear myself bravely as if nothing's wrong not for my benefit but for my friends, my family, to make them happy, my exterior and interior is built to make others smile, not to make me smile.

I'm going to tell you about my day at college...

Right so now today was the third day in which i woke up (for no reason at all) at 4.00am. Now i'm deffinately not happy about this, the first night was understandable because i woke up from overheating, yes that's right overheating in England! Who would of thought....and now it seems to be a pattern emerging and i'm missing out on about 30 minutes of sleep a night. Anyway, average tiresome day with three hours of English literature where we are reading the great gatsby and i find it quite interesting, and did an example of an exam question. Then three hours of psychology ending the first study we've been nit picking, and (here's the juicy part) when we have 20-25 minute breaks i have a group of new friendlings one is an old friend from my dance school, so there's about five of us sometimes a few others, and we chat and throw banter and jokes about (all girls by the way, as i have a boyfriend i don't require to make friends with other males) and one of us decided to exchange numbers incase we get lost and just because we are kind of friends now. My response in my head was; OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I HAVE NEW FRIENDS! I DID IT I'VE FINALLY GOT SOMEONE ELSES NUMBER WITHOUT STALKING THEM! OH MY GOD!

So yes a very good productive day, untill another morrow chaps.

Me and my boyfriend love cash converters. Everytime we walk into town we're drawn like the south pole to the north pole of a magnet; the guitars, phone's, xbox games, (we don't actually buy anything on a normal day) but today it was the cd racks. They were one pound each and some odd deal if you bought so many you got 50p off! I was thinking just yesterday how cheap some cd's are and proper quality bands/singers from old days or a few years back...ahh the good days of music, most music now isn't even music, it's just auto-tuning and making it catchy for people to download so they get awards. Whereas i absolutely admire bands who play their own music and it's more about lyrics than likeness and money.

1 year 8 months

This title is how long me and my boyfriend have been together for. I know i can't believe it either! I do get these 'odd' looks at college whenever i mention that i have a boyfriend, they kind of raise their eyebrows in confusion and tilt their head to one side sort of puzzled. It really disturbs me when they do this, i don't think it's fair as when other 'prettier people' or more 'outspoken' people don't get these looks. They get the questions 'aww how long have you been together for?' and all smiles and glory and the average people like me (well that's a lie i'm beyond average but what do they know...yet) get given the evils as if they don't believe us! Typical prejudice i say!